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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2009.05.28  15.01 Twitter Twitter is like that exercise everybody had to do in creative writing class where you couldn't stop writing for 5 minutes straight even if you drew circles and wrote the same thing over and over again just an uninterrupted stream of your thoughts which is mostly scary but sometimes compelling. Mood: cheerful

	2009.05.05  16.24 Blocked My work blocked Facebook and Myspace, so there will be lots more livejournal posting in the future. Prepare yourselves! Mood: creative

	2009.02.17  21.59 SF fashions <3 <3 <3 http://www.fashioni.st./ That is really how people dress here. I fucking love it. Anything goes. Mod or hippie or beatnik, whatever. I love how specific people get. One guy said his fashion influences are "Like King's Road, 60s, Jeff Beck, Yardbirds, The Kinks, Ray Davies." A girl said the movie Ghostworld. I can totally relate to this. Sometimes I watch movies like Purple Rain and I plan out an Appolonia outfit: faux leather ruffle jacket with a white blouse and super skinny jeans with ankle booties and lots of eye makeup. Or, Rushmore with the prep school paradise. I love the blazers and the oxfords and the plaids and the crests.  I am so in love with this place.

	2009.01.22  21.43 random facts  I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who'd buy a Dusty Springfield biography in hardcover and obsessively read an entire chapter entitled "Dusty's Hair." There were diagrams and everything. One of my attorneys dictated a letter to me today. I sat in his office while he stood with one hand in his pocket and said "new paragraph." Last week I used an actual typewriter. Total secretary throwback to the '70s. I am facebook friends with 2 of the attorneys I work for. Is that bazaar or what.  Chchchanges.  Mood: hopeful

	2009.01.08  15.53 But how do you know it's right? I have so many questions.

	2009.01.05  12.32 slang A friend of mine just told me what "superman that ho" means. So dirty.

	2008.12.31  20.28 New Orleans I want to be back already, but then again I'm relieved to be gone. Does that make any sense at all?

	2008.12.03  12.16 Jenny called a couple of days ago to tell me that the Bulldog in mid city was on fire. Now I'll never get Josh to visit New Orleans with me! He loved that bar. We both did. Our courtship was long talks on the patio followed by 3 hr makeout sessions in my car in front of that place. I planned an anniversary dinner at Brennan's for my mom. She made 20 yrs at Shell. Josh booked us a hotel room so we can stay in the city that night. The next day, Marie, Leah and I are going to see the Saints. Last time Marie and I went to a game together, we spent $120 on mixed drinks and I was horse the next day from screaming WHO DAT. Marie slipped on a packet of ketchup and almost busted her ass, but fell into her seat instead. I had around 10 gold chains on. We looked like Mr. T's posse. We had a Trick-or-Treat for the employees' kids at work the day before Halloween. I decorated--put up lights and used table fringe to border the outside of my desk in orange tinsel. I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was insane. There was one Trick-or-Treater with striped highlights and a glitter jumpsuit on. I said, "Look at Hannah Montana over there!" Her mom said, "You are the only person that knew who she is!" I could see Hannah eyeing the candy. I said, "You want some, boo?" Her mom said "Girl, where are you from sayin boo like that?" I said Montz, Louisiana. She said, "I'm from Luling!!!!" It felt like a reunion or something. We talked about Gator Stop and how different San Franciscans are compared to Southerners. It was really funny. Attys were looking at us because we were being so loud. It made me miss my family and friends alot. I am homesick, but I don't think I'll ever move back. Here, I live in a gorgeous house by the beach with my awesome boyfriend and I have a kickass job. The weather is always gorgeous and I am overall a happier person. I can't remember the last time I was depressed. But I still miss all the -isms of home. I think it's because I haven't been home since April. After a good dose of New Orleans, I think I'll be even more content here in SF. b

	2008.10.21  09.21 Songs I Never Get Sick Of, Part II Loro - Pinback Come Undone - Duran Duran Brush Your Shoulders Off - Jay Z Open Your Heart (Human Leage Cover) - Ladytron I'm Only Human - Human League I am going to lose all my street cred by admitting to these songs, but I love them so much I'm willing to sacrifice some cool points. I adore electro. Jesus Christ how could I not have included Cat Stevens until now??? I listened to Tea for the Tillerman literally every morning on my way to highschool senior year. Picking between his songs are like picking between children, so I'm not limiting myself to just one. Into White (makes me tear up every time I hear it because it's so beautiful) The Wind Time/Fill My Eyes

	2008.10.20  12.07 Top Songs As I was driving to work this morning, I had my ipod on shuffle. Alot of songs I haven't heard in ages but used to love during a very specific time in my life (Hello 2006/7) kept coming on. I have this horrible habit of listening to songs I love over and over again (any of my former roomates can testify to the fact that it was really annoying to everyone except me) so I can figure out what element of the song makes me feel so emotional. As a result, those songs become so closely linked to whatever was going on in my life at the time that afterwards, I have to work really hard at deprogramming myself so I can still enjoy them, sparing the nostalgia and pain I would have experienced if I hadn't prepared myself. Then there are other songs that I enjoy to their eventual death. I killed alot of really good songs already. Or the experiences that are linked to that song or album are just too painful or too fresh to test right now. George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass" is a good example. I love that album, but I can't bring myself to listen to the whole thing yet. Every couple of months I'll test it, but I usually only get as far as the first couple of chords of "I Live for You" (which is in my top 25 most played) before I skip it and move on. So that led me to think about which songs, however closely linked to experiences or drugs or people, I could listen to over and over and never get sick of. This is what I have so far: 1. My Sweet Lord - George Harrison 2. Strange Magic - Electric Light Orchestra 3. These Arms of Mine - Otis Redding (#1 on my Top 25 - such a drama queen, right?) 4. Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover - Sophie B. Hawkins 5. Tell Her No - The Zombies 6. Bell Bottom Blues - Eric Clapton I am interested in which songs my LJ friends will love forever. Post me comments and let me know!!! Mood: bouncy

	2008.08.25  16.48 life right now in pictures Short hair SF Outside Lands Music Festival Radiohead My new favorite accessory: Joshy's 24th Birthday Everything is just a little bit fabulous!

	2008.08.03  18.42 in a white room with red curtains... Our apartment is one half of a duplex. Our neighbor is this wiry little Stanford nurse with several kayaks. He pretty much keeps to himself. The only evidence I ever see of him is his clean clothes in the dryer. It's a two bedroom with white walls and white shoe molding. The ceiling is made up of white wood panels. The floor is a very light stained hardwood. It's so white in here that it reminds me of that scene in Scrooged when Bill Murray sees that little boy that can't talk in the psych ward in the ghost of christmas future scene. So, it didn't help that the only sofa Josh and I could agree on is a white sectional. It's pretty intimidating design-wise to start with a completely neutral palette. I'm so used to working off of one loud piece of furniture or a patterned rug, but I had no jumping off point at all. The possibilities were endless! And it didn't help that Josh and I are both really indecisive. Most discussions about preference end with him saying, "Whatever you want bae." So Friday I took off work early to meet up with Josh and hit up Best Buy (for a tv) and Ikea (for curtains and other decorative stuff.) I really like how everything looks together. This is the end result: We picked out an entertainment center too but didn't have enough saved up for it! It's set up so ghetto right now. haha.

	2008.07.18  12.17 This love. Mood: happy

	2008.07.16  10.41 Just my luck. I live in a really beautiful neighborhood. On Saturdays, I usually wake up to the rumbling of skateboards down my street, called The Portola. Around 8:30 am, I roll out of bed, re-tie my robe, and put on a pot of coffee. I open the sliding glass door leading to the patio and the front window. A slight breeze searches every inch of the apartment. After I have my coffee, I slip on Josh's hoodie, some workout tights, and my tennis shoes. The arches in my feet are really high so I pull my shoe strings extra tight. I grab my earbuds, sync my ipod, and open my front door. At that exact moment is when I realize I forgot my sunglasses. I locate them ASAP, put my cellphone in my pocket, and head out. We live on the side of a hill, hence the little skater boys choosing our street to practice tricks on--they can gain some serious momentum. About 10 minutes into the walk, the road gets pretty steep. I have to change my music from serene (George Harrison) to amped (The Presets) to give myself a little extra adrenaline so I can make it to the top. My stride turns from normal to what my cousins and I called "Giant steps" while playing Mother May I at my Maw-Maw's house. When I finally reach the top, I can see the Pacific Ocean. No matter how many times I see it, I'm still surprised that it's so calm. There are only slight ripples disturbing the surface of the water. If not for those distubances, it could blend right into the sky. Downhill, I pass a honeysuckle bush and a japanese plum tree. When these two scents comingle, it teleports me back to my childhood in Norco. Sometimes, if I'm feeling extrememly sentimental, I'll stop and pick one of the plums. As I bite into the fruit, I can picture my cousin Kristie at the top of my Paw-Paw's tree, trying to pick the best of them. We'd always pick them before they were completely ripe, so Kristie would take them into the house, split them in two, and remove the seeds. Then she'd sprinkle about 1.5 lbs of sugar on top and serve them to us as nothing less than a delicacy. I can't find the honeysuckle plant. I can only smell it. I can remember pulling out the stamen and letting that one drop of sweetness fall into my mouth. I wish I could find it. When I get home, my leg muscles are firing like crazy. I lay on the patio under the trees and stretch. This is the closest I've ever felt to being 9 yrs old again. It's as if college and the 2 years after were a bad dream and now I'm cleansed. I get to be good because that's my nature again. Before Josh gets home from work, I like to have something cooked. Sometimes I throw a lasagna in the oven. Other times, I cook a couple of the steaks his grandmother sent us, steam some broccoli, and serve with pasta. I like cooking easy things that look impressive. When he gets home, I jump on him, say Bay-Bay and boo. We sit down on the couch, eat dinner, and drink lots of wine. I tease him, say "you don't love me" so he has to prove that he does in whichever way he chooses. He slides the door open, walks out for his goodnight cigarette. I get into bed, arrange my 8 pillows, and dim down the light. He comes in, strips down, and gets into bed. Physical exhaustion mixes with triptophan and I drift to sleep.

	2008.06.05  14.28 California Love. It seems like several months ago that Josh and I packed up our Rav-4's and started our cross-country drive to Half Moon Bay. Before we left, our families came together and threw us a going-away party. There were three ice chests labeled "Budweiser," "Coors," and "water" amongst 3 huge tables of food set up buffet style. My mom is one of eight and Josh's dad is one of seven, so there were tons of people there. And everyone was so generous. They were all so excited for us, and there were several "I wish it was me"s and "Yall are so brave"s. I couldn't help but feel so lucky that I have such a great family. They have always rallied around me when I needed help and never judged me when I was going through "phases." I was so proud to have them there. And Josh's family is great! His mom and I get along really well, which makes things so much easier. I've already dealt with the "in-law" from Hell in my last relationship, and I never wanted to experience that again. It wasn't until the weekend after the going away party that we actually went away. I underestimated how emotinal I'd get. When I hugged my mom and said goodbye to my dog, there were tears. Josh pulled out of the driveway first, and I followed. I looked at my house as we drove away and waved one last wave to mom. It was all very surreal. I turned my walkie talkie on and paged Josh. "Yeah baby?" he said. "I think I just woke up," I said. I can say without hesitation that Amarillo, Texas is the most depressing place I've ever been. The wind was blowing so hard that I thought my car's alignment was fucked up. The land looked like it needed 10 tons of baby oil lotion applied to it. A tumbleweed rolled across the highway and I was excited to see it. When we stopped at a gas station, I wanted to tell Joshy how wretched of a place Amarillo was but I had to keep my lips locked together so dirt wouldn't fly in my mouth! When we got back into our cars, I paged him. "Starfish to Dinah. Starfish to Dinah," I said. "Yes, Starfish?" he said. "Let's get the hell out of here," I said. When we reached Flagstaff, AZ, I was relieved to have a day to rest. We decided before we left that we'd stop in AZ to see the Grand Canyon. I've wanted to see it since I was a little kid. But as we were getting closer and closer to it, the more nervous I got. I was worried it was going to be a disappointment. Josh thought that my anxiousness was extremely funny. "Brandi," he said, "it's not a canyon--it's the GRAND Canyon. It's not going to let you down." And it didn't. It was absolutely gorgeous. I was speechless. We took a gazillion pictures. I decided it was time to leave when Josh dared the edge and almost gave me a dang heart attack one too many times. To get to Half Moon Bay, one must drive over alot of green hills. The road is swirly, and one wrong turn could lead to a fatal dropoff. With my radio blaring, I put my car into third gear and tried to keep up with Josh as he hugged the curves. I was too scared to take my hands off the wheel to page him and bitch at him, so I just stayed as alert as I could. And as I drove over the last hill, I felt like I must have reached Utopia. It looked like a scene from the movie "A Walk in the Clouds." There was a layer of fog over the entire town, with little peeks of sunshine every once in awhile. Farmers were selling artichokes and cherries alongside Hwy 1, and fishermen were selling cod and crabs right off of the boat. It's organic heaven. I didn't get a job until a month after we arrived. A temp agency set me up with a legal secretary position in the financial district of downtown San Francisco. I had to learn the subway system, and I was completely nervous about that. You couldn't pay me to ride public transit in New Orleans unless I had some sort of death wish. So instead of getting more information, I just got onto the first train that arrived and (luckily) it was the right one! When I climbed the steps to the surface, I couldn't believe how beautiful everything was. The streets were so clean and there were flower shops set up on the street. All the businessmen and women were dressed California casual and the sun was shining. The vibe was amazing. I arrived on the 22nd floor and told reception who I was. I wasn't nervous really. I've worked at three firms now nd truthfully, they're all the same. They all work the same way and have you do the same things. But there was one obvious difference about this firm--I saw some dude wearing shorts! I couldn't tell the difference between a managing partner and a file clerk because everyone was dressed so casually. When I was paired with my mentor, I asked her what the dresscode was. "Well, you have to wear shoes and a bra. That's about it." The more time I spend here, the more I love it. There's a bubble tea place on the same block as my work, and there are tons of healthy, inexpensive places to eat. Happy hour is very popular here, and locals are more than willing to give you directions or suggest cool places to visit. I can't imagine all the cool things I'm going to see in the next couple of years. Last weekend, a co-worker and I walked to the pier and I saw Alcatraz! I have no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision about moving. I think Josh and I are really going to thrive here. I wake up feeling happy and grateful everyday! b Mood: energetic

	2007.08.02  13.55 I didn't know that life could be this good. Seriously.

	2007.07.18  13.10 In the Morning.... Once, I wanted The watercup, but the relief wasn't worth the tongue-lashing.

	2007.06.27  08.58 I've gone corporate.

	2007.05.08  08.15 A couple of things I created in MSPaint during all my free time at work My co-workers think I should print these little honeys out and create a portfolio. Maybe I'll submit it to the CAC. The firm threw a baby shower for my co-worker Jessica. I was head of the decorationg committee. This is the only evidence of me ever wearing pink:

	2007.05.07  16.39 Sonni, my daughter.

	2007.05.02  12.56 No Trouble I don’t know if I’m able to reach that part of my neck that shuts off the sound of your voice, or the memory of unorganized activity. Once, I complained about you. I set you apart. My fingers leaked aqua blue like toilet water, or the Pacific. Either way, I won’t contort my wrist To allow the flow. The sound of your voice seeps Out of my hands Into my mouth And out of my ears Until the ringing is too loud To avoid. I dove into the Pacific and sunk like coral. I got into trouble down there. I won’t complain.

	2007.04.19  14.50 Time is starting to go by so quickly. I can't believe it's almost May already! I think it has alot to do with having a full-time job. My life is so structured now. Get up, go to work, tan, exercise, play with Sonni, take a shower, some tv, then sleep. And as monotonous as that routine sounds, I'm so comforted by it. I haven't been this happy in a very long while. I'm doing the jazzfest thing next weekend. Really, I think Jazzfest is pretty torturous: waiting in lines, hours of sun exposure, nasty bathrooms. And last but not least, smelling other people's b.o. all day. However, I really want to see Calexico so I'm compromising my vow to never go to Jazzfest again. I dont think it'll be too bad. My mom works at Shell, so I'll have access to the shell tent and all the free food and drink I want. Last year all I spent was $120...and that was on jewelry (big surprise!) I really want to take pictures of Sonni before she gets any bigger. She's a little over 2 months right now, and she's completely adorable. I want to make her a baby book! She reminds me of PacMan haha. She's always walking around with her mouth open, ready to nip someone's toes or any available flesh. I have alot to look forward to this summer. There are two potential vacations in the works, and I'm going to purchase an above ground pool for myself as soon as the weather decides it wants to stay warm. I can't imagine how tan I'm going to be in a month. And I forgot how many freckles I'm capable of getting on my nose. Freakin' ridiculous. I look 12. I may have finally burned myself out on Mudslide daiquiris.

	2007.03.14  13.04 St. Patrick's Day So my friend Lauren and I are going up to Chicago for St. Patrick's Day--apparently it's a pretty big deal up there. They dye the Chicago River green. Now that is something I'd love to see. And it's not just one shade of green....it's like an entire spectrum. Also, some of Picasso's paintings are featured at one of the museums. This is also something I intend to see. So I figured I should try and capture the eager anticipation I'm feeling right now by creating a painting of my own: I feel like it might be my best MS Paint creation to date. And trust me, I produce a good amount of these little honeys on a weekly basis, considering I dont actually do anything at work.

	2007.02.26  07.55 Lightning's striking again.

	2006.12.02  00.10 Whjournal people still do this crap? this is so fire. All I can say is every rose has its thorn really. I love you allllllll